coach tawnee

Coaching is not just about performance. It’s about changing lives. 

Last fall I started coaching a dear friend who I’ve known since the first day of high school and to this day we’re still very close. Needless to say, I know her extremely well, but taking her on as a coaching client didn’t mean I’d been any less “tough” on her (with the best intentions for her success, of course).

When all was said and done with race No. 1 (of many to come, I’m sure), I asked for a testimonial and a couple photos — not thinking too much of it. I got my mind blown with what I received. It wasn’t just a testimonial. What I got was an immensely powerful story of transformation and success (with setbacks and “failures” along the way). It’s a window into one athlete’s deep emotional investment to the goal(s). As I read her story, I cried, I laughed, and I felt so strongly about the achievements and lifestyle changes that she made in her life. That said, I can’t and wouldn’t take all the credit here. She was VERY dedicated to the cause and relentless in achieving her goals — in terms of diet and fitness. It shows. I’m just lucky to have been part of the journey.

I told my friend that I couldn’t just throw these words onto my testimonial page. I had to share it in a bigger way. So, with her permission, I now give you the story of Lindsay Stein, in her own words, as today’s guest blog post…..

 

Spoiler Alter!!! Before & After Photos:

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I was always fat, or at least it felt that way. Even in high school when I was a swimmer, I always felt fat. According to a scale or BMI chart maybe I wasn’t, but I sure was unhealthy which is probably why I always felt “fat.” But the last ten years of my life, I was definitely fat and definitely unhealthy, according to the scale, BMI chart and the way I felt inside. Confidence was a stranger of mine and fad diets were my best friend. I have tried them all, from Jenny Craig to Weight Watchers to Nutrisystem. I mean how hard can it be? A few Lean Cuisine’s and no exercise and you lose weight? Sounds easy. The fad diet came and went and maybe there was a 5lb weight loss but nothing that made a difference both internally and externally. I lived the last ten years of my life in misery. I left bathing suit shopping in tears every single summer. Being the “chubby” bridesmaid weighed so heavily on me as each wedding came and went. It wasn’t just about the looks though.  I was always tired, lethargic and depressed. I had inflammation, achy joints and a heart condition that was only going to get worse if I kept on this path.

I was born with a rare heart condition called Ebstein’s Anomaly. It is a congenital heart defect in which the septal valve is displaced toward the apex of the right ventricle of the heart. This causes the right atrium to be enlarged and the anatomic right ventricle to be small in size. Due to my heart condition I was always excused from running the mile in middle school and the dream of playing soccer as a little girl was taken away from me. I swam and played water polo throughout high school but I wasn’t very good and never felt like I could keep up with the rest of the team. The heart condition was serious enough that I had to have open heart surgery six years ago at 22 years of age. I had the surgery and the valve was not permanently fixed but a repair was made. Nine months later, I recovered and went right back to eating unhealthy and not exercising. I can remember by cardiologist saying “You have to get some weight off of you. You heart cannot hold all of this weight.” It went through one ear and out the other.

I got engaged in 2010 and thought this was the year I was going to actually succeed at this whole healthy lifestyle, weight loss thing. Back to Jenny Craig I went and over 18 months of what I thought was a lot of exercise and good eating, I lost a measly 10lbs. Pathetic right? I kept up with the working out after I got married but I didn’t change the way I ate. I had that mentality, or I like to call it an excuse, that most of this world has, “I was on the stairs for 30 minutes today and it said I burned 600 calories so I can go have french fries for 300 calories and still have a negative calorie intake today!” It’s no wonder I only lost 10lbs in 18 months. After 12 months of this type of torture and very few results, I started to run. I thought to myself “well they say that running melts fat off so let’s try that.” On May 13, 2012 I ran (probably jogged and walked) 2.85 miles at a 15:26 pace. It was not a bad place to start considering I had never jogged a day in my life. I started running multiple times a week and slowly started seeing results. I started educating myself more on nutrition and slowly starting cutting bad things out. I incorporated other forms of exercise but running became the priority.

As I started to actually enjoy working out, I reached out to Tawnee. We were always close friends but this time I was looking to her for different advice. I started going to Tawnee’s strength training classes (classes she instructs called Performance Integrative Training, or for short PIT, held in Laguna Beach) two times per week. She would constantly check-in on me and my journey to get fit and healthy. I would share my runs with her and my small successes, like running 20 minutes without stopping. These runs became more frequent but my times weren’t good and I struggled to run long distances for long amounts of time. I kept my efforts up and months of this along with her personal training went by. I was in great shape and multiple pounds were lost, but it wasn’t until August 2013 when I did a 7.52 mile run at a 14:19 pace that Tawnee said to me, “Why don’t you sign up for a half marathon?” I really had no excuse. At that point, I couldn’t think of one thing that was holding me back except fear. That very night I drove straight home after her strength class and signed up for the Surf City Half Marathon. There was no turning back. I knew I had to hire Tawnee. Not only have we been best friends since high school but with her background, knowledge and expertise I knew I would succeed, even if it just meant crossing the finish line.

We started the training by going over my schedule. I work the typical 8-5, Monday through Friday job and my job can be demanding at times so fitting in a good run can be tough. I knew that weekends were good for long runs and early mornings and lunch breaks would work for <75 min runs. She was able to tailor my training to my schedule and that was one of the biggest reasons that I was able to keep up with the workouts and be consistent week after week. If I had big meetings or presentations, I would notify her weeks in advance so that she could re-work the schedule to fit my needs. I was successful at the training while working a full-time job because of her ability to schedule the right kind of run with the exact amount of time I had to fit it in. Once we got the schedule together, the training started.

She set me up with an online training log. The runs were laid out one to two weeks in advance. I loved knowing what the week was going to bring. I could strategize my time, nutrition and even my mental state. I then was able to log each run with my time, miles, average heart rate, even my shoes! I made sure to add notes after each run such as whether I felt good, tired, hate intervals, heart rate issues, etc. These notes would help her coach me and tailor the right runs that would get me trained and strong enough for race day. Tawnee and I constantly communicated. If I wasn’t emailing her, she was checking in with me. I never once felt like I was emailing or calling her too much. I had never done anything like this in my life so you can imagine the silly questions I had. Yet every time she was so responsive and understanding to all of my needs.

On September 24, 2013 I had my first run under Tawnee’s guidance; 3.52 miles at 12:31. Tawnee’s training focused heavily on heart rate targets. I had never paid any attention to my heart rate so the idea of throwing on some headphones and going for a run quickly came to a halt. I was paying more attention to time and heart rate zones. Some days I had to go so slow, it felt like I was walking. I didn’t really understand the philosophy behind this but I trusted her and her coaching so I did whatever I needed to do to keep it in the correct zone or get it up when needed. Some days it was so high and yet I felt like I was barely running. The competitor in me wanted to go faster so the 12:00+ mile paces would get in my head but I knew that the training was more than just a mile time. Then there were other days I could barely get HR to come up; some days I would struggle to get it past 135. We would talk about it and why. Those are the days I remember it felt like I was putting in the work but the heart rate wouldn’t get there. It became frustrating for me, but over time I realized that these heart rate zones are what were able to sustain me. I was able to control the intensity of my runs and do longer runs without feeling out of breath or tired, which was something that was incredible to me given my medical history with the heart condition.

The hill runs were the toughest for me. To this day, I hate hills. I think every single note on hill runs states “I hate hills. This was so tough.” I also hate fartlek runs. “This run sucked. I hated the drill part. It was hard. Not necessarily tired, just a hard run for me.” And week after week she added more hills and more intervals. And week after week, I got stronger faster and healthier. I continued to build my stamina and uphill runs slowly became a little easier each time.

In addition to interval and hill runs, Tawnee had me incorporating strength training. I trained with her two times a week and let’s face it, runners just want to run. Although I never considered myself a runner, stretching, lunges, squats, etc took away from time that I could be outside. Her regimen of push-ups, mountain climbers, leg lifts, lunges, crunches and squats is what made a difference in my strength and range of motion which in turn is what made me faster. I also believe that the strength training we did is what kept me injury free.

Overtime, the hill runs, the fartlek runs, the strength training and even the aerobic runs would get better every week. I remember in the beginning how tough the runs were. Tawnee was giving me these runs and I kept asking myself “Is she crazy? Does she realize I have never done this before?” I kept telling myself all I wanted to do was finish the race; time meant nothing. Within the first month of training my mile time improved significantly. Runs never got easier, I just got stronger. The workouts she had me doing were always different so it kept it fresh. I was never bored during this process. Of course some days were easier than others but she always got me through the tough ones. I had a few of those. Here I was, working so hard all week to nail this long weekend run and within mile 4 of the scheduled 12, it was pathetic. I felt drained, I felt slow, I felt like I couldn’t do it. I sat on curbs and cried, more than once. I was so hard on myself. I wanted to make my coach proud, more than anyone, even myself and yet I felt like I had failed her. I was so wrong thinking that way. With each cry she reassured me. She even shared her own story of tears on curbsides. She encouraged me and lifted me up. She always looked at the positive side of things for me and never made me feel like I couldn’t get back out there and do it again the next weekend. Those hard moments got to my head and now that I look back, they are what made me persevere. If it were easy, everyone would do it right? As a coach and as a friend, Tawnee believed in me more than I believed in myself and with my whole heart, I believe that is the thing that kept me striving for my goals.

As my mile time got better and I started to actually enjoy the training I knew that I didn’t just want to finish it. My goals changed as Tawnee kept pushing me. She had goals in mind that I didn’t think were ever attainable. I remember me rolling my eyes mumbling “OK.” I thought she was crazy and inside she was probably laughing thinking “just you wait and see.” Each week came with new goals. She would change the workouts depending on where my pace was.  Her workouts set me up for success in more ways than one. Weight loss was still a goal of mine throughout this process and she knew that. We talked about food and healthy carb intake each week. I lost about 15 lbs throughout my training program and was leaner, lighter and faster each week. Although I was educated on my nutrition Tawnee took it a step further for me. I had never incorporated food or water during runs because I had never run more than 6 to 7 miles. We started incorporating food fairly early in the process so that I could get used to it. She gave me specific items to eat and drink whether it was bars, gels or sports drinks, or whole real foods to eat before and after. I figured out what things worked for me and allowed me to perform better while still sustaining me. The nutrition part of her coaching continued all the way up to the race. We talked pre-race meal plans and foods to avoid three days before the race. Thank goodness I had her expertise because I probably would have eaten my bowl of raw vegetables 48 hours before!

As the months went on and my power grew, we set a goal for race day. Tawnee threw out sub-2:20 as a goal. When we started this training process, I would run a 12:30 pace at an aerobic HR (MAF) during long runs, which were then only 60-90 minutes long. As we progressed over four months, I dropped my pace to 11:00 miles or faster on average at an aerobic (MAF) heart rate, while also increasing the length of the long runs to 2.5 hours without breaking down. So even though I was running 11:00 miles on long runs normally, I wanted more on race day. I wanted to run it under 10:30 average. The last month of training she really pushed me. Three weekends in a row before taper began I ran between 13-14 miles for my long run. On some of the long runs we also started practicing race pace and holding a higher HR. Tawnee was careful with me with longer, harder efforts — we practiced higher HR in the months leading up with speedwork during the week, strides, etc., before ramping up the intensity in long runs. I knew I would finish on race day it was just a matter of when. When I started this process, a time goal meant nothing. But now it did.

As the race neared and even the day of the race, it meant everything. My energy boosted, my pace was strong and I was motivated to make my coach proud. My confidence over the last 4 months had been built up so much by her coaching and workouts. I remember feeling hesitation as to whether I could really do this. I had set out to achieve a dream and as many times as I felt defeated, I never gave up. I had never felt this confident in my life, all because of a sport that I came to love with a coach who gave me the drive to overcome obstacles I thought I couldn’t.

 

Race week came. I followed my meal plans and made sure to follow my coach’s instructions and get a lot of rest the two nights before Saturday before the race because sleep on race eve would be tough. The nerves had set in the day before and I was starting to doubt myself. My best 13 miles was about an 11:00 average, and that wasn’t even at predicted race pace. Still, to cut 30 seconds from each mile on race day seemed crazy, but I was goin’ for it. After a sleepless night, race day came. I had so many mixed emotions and thoughts that morning; of course, all of them in my head. Fear I wouldn’t perform and would be curbside crying as I had so many times. Anxiety that I would finish last. Would I run till I dropped? Would I keep going even when it gets hard? Can I really even do this? One part of my head was so full of doubt and the other was loaded with confidence. I had this amazing coach who was relentless in progressing me forward and I done all of the work for this day. Deep down I knew I could and would do it.

 

Gun time was 7:45am and I just took off then. I couldn’t wait around for another heat; I had to go for it. Pandora wasn’t working so I had the same five songs play over and over for more than 2 hours. But, it didn’t matter. I was in the zone. From the first second to the last I was strong. When I looked at my heart rate monitor after the first 3 miles, I was averaging less than a 10 minute mile. I got a bit nervous that I had started out too fast. Tawnee had warned me many times to not let the adrenaline get to me and start out too fast but here I was running this pace and feeling good. It felt sustainable so I decided to keep going for it. I kept this pace for the first 6 miles then hit a hill where I slowed a bit but nothing too significant. I kept looking at my watch and was still averaging about 10:00 miles. I kept thinking “How the heck?!” I had never in my life felt so “in the zone” as I did this day. I barely noticed people on the sidelines, my music sounded faint and I was determined. As focused as I was, I still had tough moments. At times my legs felt like they could give out and my head could give up.  My head started this race and my heart finished it. I never felt like quitting because what was once hard to imagine was coming alive right before my eyes and everything I needed was already inside of me. I could see the finish line and it never looked so good. I crossed it at 2:16 with an average of 10:23, 7 seconds per mile better than my goal, and minutes better than I could have ever imagined.

All I wanted to do was finish this race and yet the very thing I told myself I could and would never do had just happened. I was in disbelief for a good five minutes until I saw my coach. As soon as I saw her I was overcome with emotion. I just started crying. I was so thankful for everything she had done for me. I was nothing in this race without her. I owe everything that I have become to her coaching skills, her encouragement, her persistence to make me fight for this and her love of what she does for a living. The cant’s I had for the first few months turned into cans and I finished the journey it with “I did it!” I was so proud of myself and still two weeks later I ask myself “Did you really do that?” I am so proud of where I am from started. From never running a mile, being 50 lbs heavier and unhealthy, to now being this healthy, fit, confident, runner of a woman!

Running has become one of my greatest passions. I told myself I was “one and done” but here I am, ready to run another half on in May and conquer that two hours. I used to run with doubt, now I run with pride.

 

~Lindsay Stein

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 This is why I coach.